Vol. 79, December 19th, 2023 Published a Day Early Online
Eating Dust
Overtime in The Workshop
You don’t want to see sparks come out of the table saw, but then again, you don’t want it to be empty under the Christmas tree. Thank goodness for safety goggles.
“Santa’s workshop” is in overdrive. I’m both the world’s tallest elf and the year’s skinniest Kris Kringle. Cedar sawdust mingles with the Sinatra Christmas tunes, and the various saws, lathes, and sanders whine merrily late into the night. Since I was a wee lad with three chisels and two saws, making gifts has been a holiday tradition. Friends and family have made graciousness as high an art as I aim (and fail) to make my woodcraft.
“Oh, I love the rustic styling” they’ll kindly say. God bless ‘em.
There’s something about making a present for someone, to craft it with warm wishes, and hope they like it. Once in a while, if Lady Luck isn’t grumpy, it turns out beautifully.
More often than not, she’s got a wild sense of humor...poor mom still has the strange woodcarving from my 10th Christmas. If archaeologists find it someday, they’ll marvel at the primitive hieroglyphics. “Is that...a sun God? Or a balloon?”
Ah, what a season.
Gifts for the NEIGHborhood
The neighbors get homemade presents–for their horses. Dig these name tags for their stalls, made with local cedar.
Movie of the Week
Jingle All The Way
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad are rival dads on the hunt for hottest toy of the season: the Turboman. This 1996 Christmas comedy is so bad, it’s good.
Quote of the Week
“MERRY CHRISTMAS, EMPORIUM!”
–George Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life
Happy Birthday “A Christmas Carol”
Charles Dickens self-publishes his iconic tale today in 1843, selling 6,000 copies.
Letters from Josh
(A weekly update from Josh Urban’s adventures on the farm and in the city. #165)
Appearing in the Altavista Journal: Late Night Radio “In The Bleak Midwinter”
Howdy, folks, and welcome back to the show. Andy Williams is full of baloney. It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Really, Andy? Well, maybe it’s not. And yet, maybe...
If you were a Who down in Whoville you might be freaking out right about now. It’s Christmas eve eve eve eve eve eve. If you’re disorganized like me, you might also be yelling a bit. Hopefully you’re all snuggled in by the fire sipping cocoa, reading the paper. But if you’re having a blue Christmas, this one’s for you.
Once, when I was a young lad hanging out in the bright kitchen, I asked mom why Uncle Steve didn’t like the holidays.
“Oh, sometimes memories bother people ‘round this time of year.” It boggled my young mind, but time, unfortunately, has a way of teaching lessons. And who’s to doubt motherly wisdom?
Something about the season is so...vivid. It started back in ‘06. The green and red garland at the mall seemed like ropes in a boxing ring, and I reeled from the punishment of the day. Grandpa lay dying at the hospital across the street. There were colors everywhere, so bright they hurt. The shoppers rushed home with their treasures, but the food court sandwich was bitterly dry in my mouth.
Grandpa had a saying: Nobody dies on schedule. He proved himself right, passing a week before that Christmas.
I think it rained that year, too. It rained a lot those next few seasons, or at least it felt like it. More tragedies, and it wasn’t even cold at Christmas. Ol’ Uncle Steve had a point. (And I had it fairly easy in the grand scheme of life throwing some nasty lead hooks.)
And then Andy Williams wouldn’t stop singing.
There’ll be parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting, and caroling out in the snow. Fifty degrees and fifty bucks says I’m the stressed-out Grinch, Andy.
Cut to today. Things have calmed down a bit, and I’ve got some good examples to watch, people who carry on even when things are tough. And maybe that’s a point of the season. No matter your outlook, the December festivities bring us light in the darkness. The salvation of mankind arrived, not on a sunny day, but at the darkest moment, in poverty and despair. (And there wasn’t even cocoa..!)
Here’s what’s striking me: Maybe the hard stuff is part of it. Not only was the manger a humble beginning, but: You can’t have Christmas without Easter. That got a little rocky. The greatest story ever told isn’t a cheery, comfortable Hallmark movie. It’s infinitely better. The darkness comprehended it not.
Maybe you don’t need this, and you’re living a season of cocoa and things going to plan. But either way, hot chocolate or cold drizzle, I’d like to wish you a Merry Christmas. I guess Andy has a point. It is the most wonderful time of the year, no matter how you cut it.
–Josh