Dominic would not practice his guitar. Ever. He’d wiggle. Stall. Notice something about the Hendrix poster on the studio wall. If all that failed, he’d space.
“Dominic. DOMINIC!”
“Huh?” Oh!”
One day, I found his brilliance. The eight year old loved Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. He’d launch into an animated discussion of the rules of the Japanese game that was all the rage in 2005, explaining the intricate strategies he employed to win, what the characters did, how this imaginary world worked…he was a MIT-level particle physicist when it came to Yu-Gi-Oh!, waving his little arms around, expounding on the nuances of the game while the toy guitar slid off his lap, forgotten.
I’d sit there, feeling like a failure of a guitar teacher, completely lost, and glassy-eyed. The train of thought had long departed the station, and there I was, left on the platform like some square old vagabond without pocket money for the fare.
I guess this was pre-emptive payback for all the times I beat my astronomy audiences over the head with big numbers. People have to care to be fascinated. I got lost, and checked out. It happens.
(Dominic, if you’re out there, I hope you’re getting paid handsomely for your brainpower and enthusiasm. You had serious chops, kid.)
It’s All The Range
Things that are “AWESOME!” quickly lose dynamic range, causing that glassy-eyed stare. “Huh?” Check out one of my guitar heroes, the Swedish shredder Yngwie Malmsteen (pronounced “ing-vay”)
Personally, I find the first thirty seconds mind blowing, then I get bored, preferring the structure of the 1:56 mark.
If Yngwie hits “11”, right away, he might need a “12”…
Strangely enough, I have the same beef with (some) Praise and Worship music. Some of it immediately hits “Jesus, you’re 11”, and loses any headroom to build. It’s a tough one, though. Do you hold back from the Man? I mean, if I had the luck of a meet ‘n greet, I hope I’d be clever about it. Of course I’d tell Jesus I was a fan, especially of his early work, and that Nazereth bootleg was underrated (“Bet they were clamoring for white bread and pumpkin spice, you know how those unwashed masses are”), and then volunteer the unhelpful bit about Johnny Cash picking black clothes for his tours, as it was easier to keep clean. “Of course, sir, wear black robes around here with all these hippies, and they’ll mistake you for Ruth Bader Ginsberg.”
I have a long way to go.
Where was I? Oh yeah, numbers and context. We need a way to feel the difference between a million and a billion, and well, politicians especially might benefit from a better command of the ol’ trillions bit.
I just got this nifty trick.
The Nifty Trick
Count to ten. No, really, try it.
If you’re dedicated, try a hundred.
A thousand would take about 10 minutes, if you counted one number per second
A million would take just over 11 and a half days.
A billion would take close to 32 years.
An a trillion? We’d have to go back…way back…past the age of Jesus and his unfortunate meet ‘n greets with hipster fans (some things are universal.) Past the pyramids. Past the domestication of dogs, past the time when the Sahara was lush, past the first settlements in Australia when a proto man with a crude mop of blond hair jumped back from an ancient crocodile and said the first “Crikey!”, past the invention of pottery….to the land of
31,7000 years ago…
To count to one trillion, at one number per second.
You might enjoy the view of the cave painters at work, and the wanderings over the land bridge of Alaska.
Some Examples:
One Light Year = 5.88 trillion miles
The Andromeda Galaxy has about a trillion stars in it. It’s one of 400 billion known galaxies in the universe.
The National Debt is $28.7 trillion and rising.
Oh my goodness gracious.
See ya Friday! - Josh