"No Bad Words"
An Open Letter to My Middle School Colleagues
Living is tricky, man. Here’s a story and a letter for my middle school colleagues who are working on figuring it out, too.
“I can’t play that. I’m not allowed.”
“But why.”
“Because…I can’t–actually, I..”
After years of punting at the school DJ gigs, conviction found me. I finally had a better answer for them than mumbling about contractual obligations not to play obscene music. There’s a deadliness in the Reasonable. (More on that soon.) So I told ‘em the truth.
“Even if I could, I wouldn’t. There’s too much good music out there.”
Finally, I said no because.
They looked ticked, but perhaps less so than the near-riot a few minutes before.
The deck was stacked against the boys from the outset. A middle school dance, girls a good foot taller than them–and I set ‘em up accidentally to lose a dance battle. (I’m so sorry, fellas.)
Phones and social media have been a gnawing (and growing) issue for school culture, and then there I was, refusing their one thing to put them in the In crowd.
The boys do what they always do: push the envelope. God bless ‘em for that. My own battles to have a spine shouldn’t make others suffer. In fact, it might be illustrative. So I wrote them one of those “open letters.” I learned a lot while organizing my thoughts.
Thursday, Recently
Hey crew!
DJ Josh here. It was so good to party down with you at the dance. Talk about fun! What a great evening. Thanks for having me by. But hey, I heard something that made me say “I'm gonna write them a note.” (A good one, mind you.)
Principal ___ told me that there was some trouble about the FE!N (prohibited song) requests. Looking at it from your point, I'd be bummed out. The DJ won't play your song, then you land in hot water with the school. Try explaining that to your mom, and “it's just a stupid song, man”, right? What's the deal?
My brother had a sticker that said OH NO NOT ANOTHER LEARNING EXPERIENCE. Still, maybe this is one for everyone (me too). I got to thinking about all of this. Here's what I found.
Why don't I play certain songs? Lame reason: because the school and I have an agreement not to. Better reason: Because I believe that it matters what we put in our heads, just like it matters what we eat. I won't melt if I listen to a song with bad words in it, or a bad message, BUT: for me, it creeps into my thinking ever so slightly. I can “handle it”, but it doesn't make me better. When I do a show for bright young people like you, I know there's a million places you can get the trashy songs. I'd like to be one place where you can get good songs. Think of it as a healthy meal for your ears. So that's why I don't play certain tunes.
What about rules? Rules seem stupid. But I got to thinking. What's a rule? Not going through a red light is a rule. Why does everyone stop at them? Are they suckers? Cowards? No. A red light is a good invention. It keeps you from having to learn about accidents the hard way. A rule is also like a guardrail. It keeps us from going into the ditch. Now, it hurts to bounce off the guardrail. I feel stupid. In the moment, it's hard to realize it's better than winding up in the ditch. I gnash my teeth at the rules, but then realize that maybe they exist for a reason. They let me learn faster and live better. Please Do Not Pet The Lions. Look around and see if you can spy the reasons behind some of the “stupid” rules you run into. But here's the thing that's tricky about living. Sometimes the rules multiply too much, and they have to be cut back. They're always arguing about that in Washington, and that's a good debate to have–but that's later in life. I think a good place to start is trying to see why the rule is there in the first place. A man named Chesterton once said “Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason why it was put up.” (If you can remember that, you'll be ahead of 98% of the adults in the world.)
What about Agency? One of my favorite things about playing music at your dances is hearing all the great songs you know. See, it's you that know them. All your friends might listen to something else, but you pick what goes into your head. That's called Agency. It's a fundamental part of being a free man (or woman). It's the solution to peer pressure, and the reason you don't eat worms even if everyone else is. So, what'll it be? That's up to you. Now that rocks. So do you!
What do you think?
–DJ Josh
Plenty of Good music in the world