I amaze myself sometimes.
In a stunning moment of youthful arrogance, I caught myself thinking that quiet people had less to say.
Wow.
A neighborhood fellow just told me that writing is the detested subject in his 6th grade world, so I wanted to write him something. (I get ya, bro.) Here’s a special blog for the young fellas who might be yawning through their English classes. Big news: you’ve got something to say, man. Obviously, this goes out to the ladies and everyone else, too, but in particular, I see my brothers out there with tears of boredom in their eyes, so I wanted to cook ‘em up something nifty.
A case for writing
Everyone has something to say. Even if you don’t want to, it’s nice to be able to. I used to think that “writing” was the tedium (dig that mad vocab) of spelling, grammar, finding a clean sheet of paper, uncrashing the computer, whatever. No, man, that’s just organizing your shop so you can create something.
Writing is about building stuff and saying things. Maybe it’s making a case: “Here’s why I should get to go outside.” (My brother honed his powers of persuasion by lobbying against the necessity of math class on any given day. ) Maybe it’s weaving a new world: Just think: any movie you like - not only would the actors not know what to say, but the world they pretend in wouldn’t exist at all. No Avengers. No chocolate factories. No Lords of Rings or Happy Gilmores. Maybe it’s telling a friend that you care about them. Or maybe it’s writing your grandma a thank you note for that birthday money she just sent you. (Oh, how I hated doing those. I’d wiggle and dawdle and suffer through the formula: How are you + Thank you + I’m good I did ____ + Thanks Again = good enough. Just think: I could have asked her a real question about how she caught my grandpa, or the time she got dissed by Johnny Carson. But nope, I was lazy. Thankfully, I’ve since fixed this.)
Writing is about building stuff, and saying things.
Who’s a Writer?
For me, I think of a writer as someone who doesn’t go outside. (Case in point here. My computer is definitely in the house.) This might mean a little more, too. I see a lot of us writers as people who are convinced that we’re right, and the “other people” are not. We sit inside, often cut off from the real world, writing away, telling people how it is. The bigger our audience is, the more dangerous we get. Nobody’s 100% right all the time. I guess you could make the leap and say that nobody is 100% wrong all the time by that very logic, right? (Unless the same logic prevents me from making a categorical statement, but whatever.)
I see a lot of us writers like me at the beginning of this blog, thinking I had more to say than the next guy. We assume that because you’re not writing, you don’t have anything to say. If things get really bad, we then say you shouldn’t, because you don’t know any better.
Baloney. Malarkey. Hogwash. (By the way, if you don’t own a thesaurus or use one online, you’re missing out.)
I might sound hyperbolic (ain’t vocabulary grand?) to say that thinking like this is the beginning of the end, but I’ll stand by it. “Groupthink” is extraordinarily dangerous. In extreme cases, when enough people start to think exactly the same, entire countries can go to war convinced that they’re right, never noticing obvious things that another point of view would have mentioned.
So, if you have something to say, and you do, try saying it and see what happens. You might not be popular, but that’s OK. Our world depends on people speaking (and writing) the truth. We need to hear from you!
How do you see the world? What’s been on your mind? What do you think is important? What do people not know about you? How do you suppose we might start to fix what’s broken? Tell about how the wind feels on your face, or what machine you’re puzzled by.
Yeah, you might have to look up a word. But when I build something in the shop, I have to hunt around for the right wrench, too.
Make it Funky, Now
When I was writing those thank you notes as a kid, I just wanted to get the thing done. Now, I have more fun with it. Lemme show you:
The boring way:
“Dear Grandma, thank you for the birthday money. I really like it. I’ve been good. How have you been? Thanks again. Love, Josh”
YAWWWWWN!
(My grandma is a saint for even continuing to fund me after stuff like that.)
With a little bit of sauce:
“Dear Grandma, thanks for the birthday money! Wow! I bought a new video game. You probably wouldn’t like the exploding alien heads, so I’ll spare you the details. Point is, you sent me some happiness, and I thank you. How have you been? Is your garden blooming yet? Thanks again, love, Josh”
And now, getting FANCY…throwing on the big vocabulary, and painting a PICTURE, dude:
“Dear Grandma, Your check arrived the day before last. With shaking hands, I opened the envelope to find the gift. Holy moly, I just about jumped through the roof. Would I get a new pair of kicks, or buy ‘em out of guacamole? A year’s supply of pez was decided against - mom says the dentist is expensive or something. I dunno. So, instead, I marched down to the mall, and got that new Zombie Massacre game. I know you don’t like blood, guts, gratuitous violence unless it’s in your favorite political program, and chainsaws might be best left alone, but…I’m digging it. Thank you, thank you. I do hope your garden is blooming in this beautiful weather. Please write and tell me an anecdote about cruising for soldier boys at the USO during WWII. What was your go-to song on the jukebox? Thanks again for the gift! Love, Josh.”
Whew, I need to sit down. Wait, I’m a writer, I’m already sitting down. Ha!
Also, brevity is the soul of wit. Don’t write as I do.
To Wrap it Up
Writing is about saying something, and man, do you have stuff to say. So, start saying it! It might be totally stupid at first. That’s OK. Practice. Try having fun with it. Learn a new word, and weave it into your next piece. Start a blog. Write a poem, especially if you think poems are garbage. (Some of them are.) Read stuff with the aim of stealing their ideas. Guys like Mark Twain, Leo Tolstoy, Charles Dickens, Homer, Ray Bradbury, etc have ideas worth stealing. Oh man this is fun. We’ll have to talk more about this soon.
But in the meantime, just start.
One more story: Once, when Abe Lincoln was a kid, he borrowed a book from the neighbor. It accidentally got rained on, and the neighbor made him work in the fields to pay it off. Abe got ticked off, and wrote a story about a dumb guy with a big nose (his neighbor), stood up on a tree stump, and recited it to the roaring laughter of his friends.
If that’s not a case for writing, I don’t know what is.
Have fun!
Josh
Nobody is 100% wrong? As a retired federal employee, I have seen many people practice through Groupthink 100% wrongness and also gaslighting to perfection. Only by writing about such, and also things that are really REAL, can we approach the truth that should be sought.
Nice job on the example of thanking grandma for the gift money, but don't try the same approach on scientific journal editors!
Good topic and good advice, Josh. Keep it up!